Kids + Chores (what my kids are actually doing)

As summer approaches every year, one thing I start thinking about is my kids’ free time. What skills do I need to teach them? What jobs do we need to work on? I don’t like to think about this topic in terms of how many summers do I have left, but rather what skills do I need to equip them with so they can be responsible, helpful, hard-working adults? I’m not an expert on this topic by any means, but I do think there’s value in teaching both genders a variety of life skills. My boys aren’t getting out of kitchen duty and learning to cook just because they are boys. My daughter is going to learn how to mow, trim a yard, and care for farm animals right alongside her brothers. I have no idea where life will take my kids or how God might ask them to serve others, but I want them to be well-equipped however that might look.

I’ve done a lot of things over the years when it comes to chores, from changing up tasks every single day to randomly picking items off of a list. Any job system you want done well requires you to take the time to teach the tasks, practice the job, and inspect the work. I’ve heard it said, “You cannot expect what you are not willing to inspect.” Do not assume because you’ve shown a child how to do a job once, that they will be able to repeat well immediately. Chore training, and work in general, often requires a lot of practice and repetition with you working alongside them patiently.

This summer our family is working on task proficiency. Each child has one area they are responsible for all summer, with the goal being they get really good at their job and could teach another sibling. 

Here’s what my kids are actually doing this summer. 

10 year old daughter:
My 10 year old daughter currently has “bathrooms” as her daily responsibility. She is in charge of making sure all of these items get finished for both bathrooms in the house every day.  This includes wiping down counters, cleaning mirrors, emptying garbage cans, and changing the hand towels. It’s on my list to teach her how to clean the toilets and wipe down a shower. 

She is also working on doing her own laundry from start to finish. I have given her assigned days she can do her clothes (right now that’s two days a week), and she is responsible for gathering it all, starting a load, switching it to the dryer, and doing her bedding/ sheets if they need done as well (I help with these.) 

She also helps do animal care each morning and evening. This includes chickens, goats, cats, and a puppy. 

8 year old son:
My 8 year old currently has “kitchen” as his daily responsibility. This includes emptying the dishwasher in the morning, making sure all dirty dishes from the sink are loaded, clean dishes are dried and put away, and the floor gets swept after breakfast. I’m working on reminding him where all the dishes go and how to properly load a dishwasher.

He is also working on doing his own laundry, but this requires a lot of time from me. I have to remind him of his laundry days, work with him to start the load, and remind him to switch to the dryer/ fold clothes.

He also helps with the animal care each morning and evening. 

6 year old son:
My six year old has “vacuum” on his daily responsibility chart. This includes vacuuming the main floor or any other areas of the home as needed (basement playroom or laundry room a few times a week.) We get A LOT of farm dirt brought into our house, so daily vacuuming is pretty much a “have to” around here. He still needs occasional re-direction and “try it again”, but I am already seeing a lot of improvement in him practicing the task every day.

He helps his brother gather their dirty laundry on laundry days and is responsible for folding and putting away all his clothes. I still help with any hang up items.

He also helps with animal care and currently can do most of the animal feed by himself but needs help with the water and chickens.

What I am currently loving about my system is that I’ve already decided once what they are going to do every day and my brain doesn’t have to take up space thinking about what chores to assign. My question is simply, “Are you ready for me to inspect your work?” and I know exactly what task I need to check. My kids have to stay with me the whole time I’m inspecting their work at this point so they can see if there’s something I need to re-do or they need to try again. When they were younger this meant doing the entire task with them, every time.

What Chores Are/ Are Not

1. Chores are a part of being a contributive family member. Do your kids struggle with feeling purpose? You might be surprised at how much hard work as part of a family contributes to family belonging.

2. Chores like these aren’t paid. Lots of people will disagree with me here and think kids should be paid for everything, but I disagree. Kids can be taught how to contribute and help without always being paid. I’m not here to say there’s no work they get paid for, but rather they still need to find value in lots of unpaid work. When my kids get asked to do something and they start to say things like, “Will you pay me?”,  I know we need more practice in this area. 

3. Chores can be discipline. When my house starts to get unruly and people aren’t treating each other kindly, there’s a lot of work that starts to get dished out. I get the premise of things like “time out” but honestly I think there’s a lot to be learned by a child when they have to work harder with their hands instead of just sitting there. 

4. “It sounds like you need more practice.” I’ve learned this from people like Ruth Ann Zimmerman. When my kids start to complain about the work they’ve been given, it can be so easy to give in and let them take a break instead of pressing them to keep trying. The thing is with complaining, if you give in once they will learn this gets them out of work every time. Instead of letting them quit a task, add on another. My kids have learned pretty quickly complaining and whining doesn’t get them out of work, it simply leads to more! 

5. Free time really feels like free time. If you make your kids work, when they have free time it really starts to feel like free time! The same is true for me. When I sit down with a book for 30 minutes in the afternoon it really does feel like a joy because I’ve been working hard up to that point. Work makes you appreciate play, rest, and beauty even more.